Whoops!

Cuz we are together, made for each other...
So I must admit.. I totally forgot my password and e-mail. hahaha..
So a couple months later I finally figured it out!
Yay me!
School is going amazing. I love college. I know I picked the right school for me. Everything about it screams Rikki!
It's just great.
I also have a great boyfriend. His name is Seth and I know he was made for me. He's everything I'm not and vise versa. I can't stand to be without him and I love him with all of my heart.
I'm pretty sure this is the happiest I've ever been in my life.
Today Lisa thought the plural for deer was deers. I started laughing so hard. Ugh.. I love that girl to death. Then we got back from goin to the dollar store to get stuff for our projects, we walked into the house and it smelled TERRIBLE! Like spoiled milk... except worse. Tim had thrown away something that he had eaten and it was rotting... and his left over dishes were in the sink and they smelled like that too. We pulled our sweatshirts up over our noses and were gagging and laughing while trying not to breathe. Ugh it was some good times. haha.
But I must get going seeing as how I have class at 8:30!
we can stand alone. And now no one can touch us...
No one can touch us - Sing it Loud

I'm Gonna Let the Light Shine On Me..

This is real. This is me.
I've been going to school now for almost 2 weeks..
and I'm convinced I found the perfect school for me.
Everything about Kendall is perfect.
I love all my classes. I've made amazing friends.
I love it.
I'm so glad I ended up bumping into Matt the first day of school, because if it wasn't for that who knows what'd I'd be doing right now. I wouldn't know anyone from KCF.
And then I discovered the big swing dancing thing downtown.
That looks so amazing.
I can't wait to start doing it.
My friend from GRCC is gonna go with me.
=D
Yay.
I'm exactally where I'm supposed to be.

I'm home.

"Break out, break out,"

So long break from writing..

I had orientation today at Kendall College of Art and Design.

All I can say is.. I am home.

I seriously think this school just screams my name.

Everything about the school is just exactally what I wanted in a school.

I got to meet one of my professors today.. he was very awesome and laid back.

I won a free membership for a year for an Art Institute.

I made new friends..

I got to hear about AIGA which sounds amazing..

then dad and I went out to eat at XO Asian Cuisine.

And we are sitting there eating when I just realize I have too look at the door..

and then in comes in this guy.. who was as gay as gay gets. It was great.

He had a Louis Vuitton murse.. a HUGE pinky ring.. and a lisp that was just crazy.

I wanted to hug him. :)

After that I went to Woodland and hung out with Phil at work and filled out more job apps and turned them in.

To top the day off..

I made dad ride in the glass elevator from the top floor down..

he was white knuckled the entire time.

:D

"Our time has come and we've got these big city dreams."

Nine in the afternoon..

Your eyes are the size of the moon..

So a life changing event was today.

It was my last thursday of school as I know it!

OMG!

It's so crazy. My last day of school is the 14th!

So that means tomorrow is my last friday! :-s

You're good cuz you can so you do..

But it's better if you do..

Take me away: A secret place.

Prom was last night.

I had a grand time.
My date was cute.
I was cute.
The dinner was cute.
Everything was cute. :)
Although I have to admit before and after prom was better than prom itself.

But I enjoyed myself.

A sweet escape: Take me away.

Pocket full of sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield

Thought of the day..

I know you don't think that I am trying...

We are doing a genetics project in my advanced biology class with fruit flies..

I got to explaining it with my dad, and I have red eyed fruit flies..
my lab partner Courtney has white eyed fruit flies.. I don't know much about them.
I told my dad they may have vestigial wings.. which means they dont' work. lol.
So that's when this thought popped into my head:

What do you call flies that don't fly? Walks?

haha idk. I'm confused.

I know you're wearing thin down to the core...

Fall for you - Secondhand Serenade

Don't bite..

Maybe we, why don't we..

You know..

You never really know how much you miss a person..

until they don't talk to you anymore.

Then you realize you deserve it because you are pretty much an ass.

Even if you do just want to talk to them to hear them raise their voice like they did oh so often..

or talk about music.

haha or get caught by the police.

good times.

sit right here for half an hour..

I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else..

We both have shiny happy fits of rage...

So today I bought Juno.

I loooooooove Michael Cera. He's so awkward and just idk. I just love him. lol.

But anyways..

I decided that Juno is one of the most depressing movies on the planet.

There is no way that Bleeker actually exists.

With all the deuce bags out there on this planet.. i find it hard to believe that he actually exists.

People don't want to step up to responsibility. I don't know. Just many thoughts I have while watching this movie.

It's cute, great, hilarious, sad, and depressing all at once. lol.

So it pretty much is my favorite.

And I want to meet Ellen Page and marry Michael Cera. =D

I want more fans, You want more stage...

So yeah..

If you just realize what I just realized..

So yeah.

Today was amazing.

:D

Then we'd be perfect for each other..

So yeah..

No one says it like Daniel Powter..

You work at a smile and you go for a ride..

Today was.. well a day.

Paul and I broke up last night. It was really sad.. well on my end.. and i was the one doing the breaking up. I just make myself feel so terrible.. I dont' know why..

lol I'm PMSy just to add to it.

Then on my way home from school.. i got like right in front of my house and my tire exploded. :(

That scared me..

and because I'm PMSy I started crying. lol.

So I ran inside.. and dad and i started arguing so I started crying more.

haha i hate being pmsy.

So then I got even more depressed cuz dad said he'd have to take me to school tomorrow.. and that I'd have to walk to work.. and ride the bus to school on friday.

But then mom got home and saved the day.

She gave me money so dad and i ran into discount tire.. and i got a used tire so now I can drive! :D

Then what really made me cheer up was on the way home.. we drove by a house where a midget was out cleaning their yard. They were pushing a wheelbarrow.. and the handles came up to their shoulders! LMAO! I cracked up forever!

Pretty much made my day.

Now Paul and I are talking n such.. so I'm gonna go.

You had a bad day..

Melted Ice Cream..

If I should die before I wake..

Work wasn't bad..

I got to talk to Addie a lot.
lol I walk into work and the first thing she says was "How did last night go!?"
haha it was great.
Then my favorite Nurse's Aide was working so after I clocked out I went out to the But Hut with her n a resident (the resident was smoking. not Tara). Then we were all just talking. It was pretty fun.
Then I came home n mom, Haley, n I went to Greenville and shopped..
Then yeah.. I've been working on graduation stuff ever since.
I'm bored.
N Paul's not on.
It's quite sad.
Oh n just for the record.. you should be jealous.

My boyfriend is better than yours! :)

Because you took my breath away..

No Air - Jordan Sparks

Gaudy or not?

Oh dear, it's been hardly a moment..

Worked sucked.

It went on forever.

but I got to talk to Addie a lot. That was fun. I get along really well with her.

hahaha and I had heard that Paul's parents were really religious.. so I was really afraid of meeting them.. for the fact that I could say something wrong.. and I didn't want to do that. So I told Bruce (the guy I work with ALL the time) and he said that I couldn't go wrong if I just walked up and was like "God bless you for having me here." LOL! I just laughed forever.

Then I got out of work n Paul picked me up..

And I met his family.
I love his sister Martha. She's pretty cool.

Then we left and went and met up with his friend Kirby.

He's pretty awesome too.

I was pretty much constantly laughing at those 2.

Then we met up with Kirby's girlfriend.. and we double dated.

we couldn't bowl.

haha bowl.

So we hung out in wal-mart.

Yeah we're that cool.

Be jealous. :P

But I'm seriously ready for bed..

so I can wake up and have to go to work again tomorrow.

joy.

I can't wait.. :

And you are already missed..

Lightning in the distance..

Maybe he won't find out what I know..

The school day went by soooooo slow.

Then to make it worse.. the weather was so bad that the school held us there until the weather got better. *sigh* that was fun.

But tonight was so fun.

mhm..

Paul picked me up around 4.. then we booked it to Lansing..

We went to my favorite resteraunt (Friday's!! :D)..

that was fun.
I was afraid he wasn't going to like it since he doesn't like Applebees..

So then after that we went to The Lansing Mall..

And I bought a new bag for school (Paul pretty much picked it out. lol).. then I bought the new AP magazine because Panic is in it.. so is Jim Sturgess.. and Pete Wentz! Lol a ton of my favorite people!

Then Paul ended up buying a Sweeney Todd poster.. cuz that's just how he rolls. lol..

then we drove to the other end of Lansing.. THROUGH THE GHETTO! I was so sure I was going to die.. and Paul was managing to wave to every gangster guy we saw! :-s I was so scared. lol.

So when we got there alive I was quite happy. Then we went and saw Prom Night. I liked it a lot.. Paul didn't.. (shocker right? :P)

Then we got starbucks and walked around the outside mall. That mall was super pretty. I think it's the prettiest mall I've been to. I liked it a lot.

Then we went to the park once we got back home n chilled n listened to music.

And it became about 11:25ish.. and then bright lights were shining in the windows and it was Beck. LOL! He told us to go home pretty much. T'was pretty hilarious.

And so here I am.

My favorite things all in one night!

1)Fridays

2)Shopping

3)Movies

4)Starbucks

5)Paul. :)

You were the last good thing about this part of town..

A mt. dew in english..

We can kick it here for hours..

Tomorrow is Jacob's funeral..

Oh yeah. I didn't post about this.
2 days ago.. so the 8th.. another kid from my school killed himself. :(
And he was a junior.. just like Blaine.
I'm not sure why he did it..

He hung himself.

:(
But new subject..
I actually FINISHED.. like done.. no more teacher telling me to fix this and that.. it's done.. my drawing. haha if you followed that.. then you are good. lol.
Math went swell..
The only thing that kept me going in english was that i brought a mt. dew from home to class with me. If it wasn't for that.. I would've been asleep.
The rest of the day was sooo boring.
Well last hour wasn't so bad. I hung out with Courtney.
Then i came home..
and studied.
It's been fun.. *cough*
But I get to hang out with Paul tomorrow!

Woot to that!

And just mouth off about the world..

Six feet under the stars - All Time Low

Blue raspberry slushies..

And it's you and me and all other people..

I love passing time in school by taking pictures.

It makes my day so much better.

lol especially in art if I get mad.
So that's what I did today.

Then the rest of the day seemed to go by really fast.

I couldn't wait for tonight.

Paul even picked me up early.. how weird is that!? :P
haha But we went and got a pizza.. and took it to the park and ate under the pavillion thinger while it was raining.
T'was much fun.
Then we just kinda hung out there and talked.. forever..
then I got cold so we moved into his car.. and we listend to music.
Then we went to Harold's and I got to meet some of his friends.
They were really nice.
Then we drove around.. and went back to the park...
and he asked me to be his girlfriend.
And I said yes.

:D

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you..

Passin notes and gossiping..

I just wanna know that you feel it too..

School went so much better than I expected!

This is what happend hour by hour:

Art 2 - I finally finished my drawing! It took me about 2 weeks but I did it! :D And I love it.

Pre-Calculus - We are working on proofs.. it's seriously simple. I'm amazing at it.

English 12 - We are supposed to be watching a movie.. but it was the day after spring break.. So Amanda, Ashley, Leo and I talked all hour. It was much fun. I missed those 3 sooo much!

Seminar - I have been so lost on this big packet we got that I was in Mr. Summer's class for seminar today.. and will be tomorrow as well. Not fun.

Lunch - Hahahah Leo and I made fun of each other like always. Something about me being a pedophile.. and him loving the bigger ladies.. or men. LOL! T'was a good lunch period.

Advanced Biology - Took notes.. texted back and forth on Ash's phone.. nothing outta the ordinary.

Physical Science - I had to pretty much save my class.. they have no idea what they are doing.. so instead of me getting help on the problems I needed on my packet.. he went over the problems we already went over. I was so mad.

Media Center Aid - I went in and pretty much begged Mrs. Helman to let me use last hour as a study hall and she did. So I worked on my physical science packet more.. and then Ty came up and was working on hw with me while we talked about how much I hate this one girls' voice.. then Courtney came up.. then had to leave beacuse she hates that girl's voice as well. LOL!

After School - I got around and I had work. Wasn't that bad. Tara was working. YAAY! That was fun. I love that girl. lol.

Then mom showed up and gave me money and told me to go to mcdonalds after work.. so I pull in and JAY WAS WORKING! AHHH! I hadn't seen him in forever! So I literally run into McDonalds.. and right when Deedee say me she was like *sigh* "Jason! You have counter!" hahahahah i didn't even have to say anything. So we basically like jumped into each others arms.. and then we were normal Rikki and Jay. lol with all the hugging and singing. hahahahaha. That's one thing I really miss about working at McDonalds! Working with my buddy! :(

Now here I am..

Still trying to figure out my packet..

and failing miserably..

*sigh*

I can't wait for tomorrow.

There is nothing left to hide..

Orange flowers.

But hold your breath..

Well I've come to a decision.

I'm glad I went no where over spring break.

:D

And Ashley is back from Florida..
so we are catching up.
As much as I don't want to learn tomorrow..
I'm really excited for school.
I miss all my friends!
I can't say I didn't have a good time on spring break..
Because I'll miss sleeping in..
and seeing Paul all the time..
But yeah..
I'm seriously dying to see Amanda and Ashley..
So essentially Im dying for english to get here.
I need to have a good long talk with my besties. :P
One more decison I've come to is:
I can't wait for tuesday to get here. :)

Because I pretty much miss him already.
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you...

Fall for you - Secondhand Serenade

chap stick, chapped lips, and things like chemistry..

Honest, let's make this night last forever..

Paul and I hung out again tonight.

Much fun.

:D

For not having stuff planned

these past 2 dates have been fun.

I can't wait until we hang out again.

I didn't have time to have butterflies this time though.

He pulled in as I was straightening my hair. :P

I was lookin good. LOL!

Yeah.. then he came in and met my sister n my mom..

Then we went and got ice cream.. and there were flowers waiting for me in his car.

Idk. It was just.. pefect? I guess that's the word to describe it.

I had a great time.

But I do have work tomorrow.. and homework..

So I guess that's all you get.

And considering Paul is about the only one that reads this you already know what happend. :P

Forever and ever, let's make this last forever..

First date - Blink - 182

Far away's a far too long..

I like where we are..

I can't wait for tomorrow.

I'm excited.
Just felt like sharing.

:D

When we drive in your car..

here in your arms - Hellogoodbye

We just literally dodged a bullet..

I've got a sickness, you've got the cure..

So Superhero movie was..

oh what's the word..
HILARIOUS!
It kept me laughing through the entire thing!
There was one part in which I was laughing so hard I was crying.
That movie was sweet.
haha Jake laughed through the whole thing too.
I'm glad I got to see my friends today! I missed them a lot!

Amanda called me early this morning and asked if I wanted to go to lunch..

So then I got around and went to go get her at work..
And on my way to go get Amanda.. who do I see?
Paul!
That was fun :)
Then we went to McDonalds and I brought her back to work..
Later I went to the library and worked on taxes. Fun stuff.
Then I went to Jake's and we played guitar hero for quite a while.
That was a ton of fun.
I love that game!
Then we left..
After the movie we went to wendy's.
lol then i dropped him off..
and now i'm here.
I'm bored.

haha story of my life.

You've got the spark I've been lookin' for..

Put up or shut up...

Kisses under starry night skies, talked about in song..

So I awaited tonight completely impatiently.

I was dying.

I'm not going to lie or sugar coat it.

I had the butterflies in my stomach.. I was just really excited.

Paul and I went on a date.

It was a lot of fun.

We went and saw the movie 21.

It was really good. Well at least I thought so. He thought it was iffy.

lol then we went to starbucks where I managed to talk about how I was deformed and he managed to agree with me! LOL!

So I ended up with my frozen drink outside and shivering.

that was a good time. :P

Then we went to a park and swung.. but swinging you can't really talk.

So we sat on a bench and just talked..

and before I knew it... it was dark.

That happens to us a lot.

lol we talk a lot.

Then we sang along to songs on the way home.

A really good time was had and I can't wait to do it again.

Hopefully soon.

:)

we play along, so bitter sweet by our design.

That girl's a straight up hustler - All Time Low

It's too late to make you mine..

And I'm trying to right this wrong..

So tonight at work.. it just wasn't good.

Nothing went right..

my boss was being a douche (shocker).. and I don't know.

There was about 2 different times when I just wanted to sit down and cry.

But then as I was walking down the 100 hall

I saw that my friend Danielle (who is in housekeeping) was still there..

she was there til 7:30 and had to clean the dining room..

So I got to vent to her and I felt a lot better.

But my boss did manage to make me laugh when I first got there..

The residents were in the dining room when I got there.. and they were having an ice cream social..

So I went into my bosses office to ask when they'd be out of there.

He was like "well what are they doing?"

So I told him that they were having an ice cream social..

And his response was "Those bastards."

hahahahaha. It was great.

So I need you to be strong..

Money Honey - State of Shock

Those were the days..

Take your cap and leave my sweater..

*sigh*

I want to go to Virginia Beach.
Really bad.
like you have no idea.
I miss it there..
I miss boogie boarding..

seeing sharks in the ocean.. then at 1 a.m. playing in the ocean.

those were the days.

and I miss them. :(

Cuz we've got nothing left to weather..

We're only good for the latest trends..

I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive..

So I decided that I don't know what I would do without the residents at my job (haha I wouldn't have my job if we didn't have residents but that's not the point).

They are seriously funny.. especially the ones with dymensia.

lol I remember one time when one of them didn't want what we were having for dinner.. they wanted a pancake. And the night manager (who is the head of maintenance as well) was going to give it to her.

The nurse that was with her was like "Yeah. What's better than getting a pancake from a good looking guy?" and the resident sighed and was like "Not much."

LOL!

So great.

Oh and as you may have saw I'm back to Fall Out Boy.

lol I missed them.

Well I'm completely bored.. and pretty much out of things to talk about..

So I think I'm going to go!

Ttyl!

Now I only waste it dreaming of you.

Of All the Gin Joints in All the World - Fall Out Boy

Enchanted.

Closed off from love...

I hate this.

Senior year.

spring break.

I'm in BFE.. planning on going no where.

damn. I'm awesome.

haha. oh well I guess.

and i'm scheduled to work most of it.

I really hate my boss.

Why can't he be gay? gay guys seem to love me.

*sigh*

lol

I didn't need the pain...

Bleeding love - Leona Lewis

We are who we were when..

All I know is..

I'm very proud to report..

Slowly but surely everything is falling back into place.

I'm not sure what happend.. but something terrible and it made everything just fall out of place.

Okay I have a good idea of what it is..

I think it was Blaine's death. It really messed with my head and had me really depressed for quite a while.

I mean I was suffering.

Math is what I was amazing at.. always. No matter what I was amazing at math.. My test after Blaine's death was terrible. I got an F.. That made me even more depressed..

The guy I liked got a girl friend..

My best friend and I were kind of fighting..

Everything was just not right.. and it was really messing with me..

But the guy and I worked everything out.. I'm glad I finally opened up to him.

So that was going good.. then my best friend and I worked everything out..

and then I had one of my other best friends teach me the math all over and teach me the correct ways to find everything.. and I retook the test and got an A.

Everything is back in place..

and I couldn't be more happy.

Ttyl.

Everything's gonna be alright..

No One ~ Alicia Keys

Out here the hills go on for miles..

I'm just a face for every picture..

It's official! I've found my theme song..

which is located on my theme cd if you will. lol

My theme song is This Is How We Do by All Time Low..

The CD is So Wrong It's Right.

It's an AMAZING CD! If you haven't listend to it yet..

then what the heck are you doing reading my blog?! Get off your butt and go to the nearest wal-mart and pick yourself up a copy!

You won't regret it.

If you are into the whole Anberlin, Boys Like Girls thing then you will totally love them.

And hey what do you know.. I love both of them! :)

Today is a good day.. lol this CD like makes my day better. :)

I listend to it before bed last night, I put it in when I got around this morning.. sang it at school all day long.. got home and played it again. :)

I'm not addicted to All Time Low. I swear.

Last night I was thinking... Everyone is obsessed with something.

I know people who are obsessed with running.. or people obsessed with dieting (who would want to be obsessed with that??).. etc.. And I decided that I am obsessed with music. I just can't get enough of it!

If I'm not listening to it then I'm singing it.. or it's playing in my head or something. I am constantly hearing music... and I love it. :)

A smile for your scrapbook..

This is How We Do ~ All Time Low

Pretty. Odd.

Go on, grab your hat and fetch a camera..

I got it!

:D
I booked it to Greenville after school.
I got to wal-mart and went right to the CD section.. new releases and BAM! I was good to go!
Then they put those stupid pop machines by the check out thingy for impulse buyers like me..
damn them.
So as I am walking to my car with my CD and mt. dew a red truck pulls up next to my car..
and honks..
It was Alexa..
and she was playing disco music..
and was dancing..
It was as if we were at the disco..
she almost made me panic at the disco..
that's just pretty. odd..


haha. Okay.. got that out of my system. But really.
I did see Alexa and Jessie as I was coming out.. they were there to get easter candy half off. lol. Gotta love my friends.
I got the Cd..

It's not what I expected but I'm still happy to report I love every single song on that CD.

:D
Nine in the Afternoon is still my favorite. It's all catchy and such.
:)

Go on, film the world before it happens..

She's a handsome woman - Panic at the Disco

We sleep forever..

Take a picture..

I'm glad to report that I'm in a better mood than I have been..

I got to go shopping :)

That always makes me feel better..

I got a sweater for my dress... finally.. I finally found one! woo!

Then I went and I bought 2 Aiden CDs..

then I bought 2 tank tops. :)

Then I came home..

Senior skip day was nice.

I wish it was senior skip year...

that'd be even better..

Let it breathe alright..

The sky is falling - Aiden

I wouldn't be caught dead in this place.

Praying for love in a lap dance..

Okay.. I've decided on two different things today.

1) Before this year is over I'm seeing Panic in concert.

2) I'm going to marry their lead singer Brendon Urie.

They had the making of their new album Pretty. Odd. (out in 2 days!!!!!! I'm dying!) on Fuse.. and now it's them performing songs off of A Fever You Can't Sweat Out in Denver.. and next is the making of Nine in the Afternoon.

I'm getting my daily dose of Panic.

Are you?

and paying in nievety..

Pointless..

Heartache to heartache..

Frick everything.

I don't even know why I try.
I really don't.
It only ends up completely opposite from how I want it.
Believe me..

not even wallgreens is perfect enough..

we stand..

love is a battlefield - Pat Benetar

Hm..

And no one's gonna save you..

I'm confused.. and mad.. and hurt.. and I'm not sure why.

Not something I really feel like talking about.

I don't want it to concern anyone who reads this..

So grandpa got bad news..

there's a shocker.

I'm scared for him.

I don't know what I'll do if he does take a turn for the worse..

:(

I don't even want to think about it..

oh.. and yes.. these lyrics are Michael Jackson.. Thriller.

from the beast about to strike..

random urge..

Whispers "hello..

So yeah.. it's 1 a.m. but I had a thought just now..

haha cuz that's so different from normal right?

Well I've decided all girls want one thing in life.. if they don't get it they are pretty sad.. but the world moves on..

if they do get it they will forever be the happiest person in the world.

That this is the perfect story book.. right out of hollywood movies romance.

I watch as many romantic movies as the next single teenage girl.. but there is nothing I want more than for Ella Enchanted to be my life story..

minus the doing everything you are told part and almost killing the man of my dreams..

lol but all the rest..

They know they are in love the first day they meet..

must be nice.

Why can't real life just be like it seems on those movies?

Why do the movies have to tease us and be like hahaha look what we can do and you can't? That's a really bitchy thing to do. lol.

It saddens me to know that I'll probably never have that happen to me..

but hey.. it's worth writing it down right?

It got me up off my bed..

and yes.. I was watching Ella Enchanted.. and now The Perfect Man..

hahah gosh do I need a boyfriend. :P

Oh well..

C'est la vie.

ttyl.

I've missed you quite terribly."

Life changing events..

I wanna run..

I got ice cream with Paul yesterday. That was fun. Lol I don't think time has flew by that fast before. We met up around 3:15 and then next thing you know it was almost 5. It was nice just getting to know each other better.

Then I had to come home and change into black..

I went to the visitation last night. It was one of the worst moments in my life to see Blaine just kinda laying there.. I kept waiting for him to set up and be like ahh I'm just kidding guys. Let's crack open some beers and have a party. But he didn't. He never sat up. And then to see all of my friends crying.. it was bad. Jake almost cried.. That was really bad.

I came home and I just wanted to do something after that. Hang with my friends. I mean you never know how long you are going to have them. I just wanted to do something. I was really depressed though.. I laid on the couch and watched a Make Me A Supermodel marathon.. which was kind of boring since I watch them when they first come on. lol but oh well.

So then I decided I'd go down to Katie's and see what she was up to.

I didn't think she was home so I came back to my house.. then she called me and we met up with Jake and Ty at the movies. We saw Never Back Down.
It was great for getting my mind off of things. That movie was AMAZING! It was seriously good. lol I don't even know what else to say.. It almost made Katie cry.. but I'm proud to report I never even had a tear in my eye. :)

But I think that's it for this post.. I have to get around for work soon..

ttyl.

But only far enough to make you miss me..

Thought of the day..

Fast lives are stuck in the undertow...

Okay.. So I didn't go to school today as basically half of the people that read this (which is 2.. so half is 1. haha yep.. i'm good at math. :p) already know.. I found it pointless. It was a half day and the first half of my classes are easy and virtually no one was going to go to school today..

So I am proud to report I slept through the entire school day today! :D haha I went to bed around 11:40.. and woke up around the same time. Lol nothing beats 12 hours of sleep except maybe 13 or 14. haha.

Okay but back to the thought of the day..

I went into town to get money and then stop and see my best friend to see if she wanted to get lunch or something.. She wasn't at work so i just left her a note and left. I was hungry since I hadn't eaten yet.. so I went to McDonalds.. saw some of my old friends and left..

As I left I got stuck behind this white truck..

Speed limit was 45 and they were going about 30. Then they started speeding up to about 40.. then speed limit changed to 55 and they went 45.. then they looked in their side view mirror at me and it was an old man..

Yeah I passed them but my thought was this: Why do old people drive slow? Are their muscles wearing thin that they don't have the capability to press that petal down? If that's the case their licenses should be revoked..

It makes us younger people mad.. and no one likes an already angsty teenager to be mad now do they?

haha just my thoughts for the day.

But you know the places I wanna go..

the waking up is the hardest part..

You better know that in the end..

So I knew today was going to be bad..

But oh my gosh it was so much worse than I expected.

Idk..

It's just a really sad day..

It's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.

Life changes in the blink of an eye..

I think of what you did..

I'm not sure how many of you know this but I live in a town where nothing out of the ordinary ever happens..

We get up, go to school, go home, do homework, go to sleep, and repeat. Every weekday. On the weekends some kids party, work w/e.. then back to school. This is how it has been since I've been born.

I mean I know deaths happen. One of my best friends has lost both of her parents in the time span of 4 years..

But never has a student from our school killed themselves..

It happend to my friends from Central last year I think it was.. and I felt terrible for them and I didn't know how I could stand to deal with that..

Well tonight.. dad came home from work and told me that a guy my age from my school had shot themself. He told me he was from Hubbardston but didn't know his name..

Minutes after that Ash is calling me and telling me that Blaine Butler killed himself.

It was different when this person was nameless.. but Blaine?

I know Blaine. I see him in the hall all the time..

he was happy.. outgoing.. completely outspoken..

He even had a party last night..

What happend to make him shoot himself?

I just don't know what to think.

I'm just shaken up about this.

Maybe I'll call into work.. I just can't deal with this.

It's too weird.

Jake and his mom prayed for his family..

I just don't know what to think..

And How I hope to God he was worth it.

All the things you said runnin' through my head..

Another day is going by..

My sister has this big book report due tomorrow so she told me to play some of my music.. so I pulled out some of my old mixes. I miss some of those songs!

It's crazy how I could forget some of the classics.

So I've been reading this book recently and the characters are so relatable. I see myself as Ellen.. and my friend James as the James character. I'm not sure who I see the Link character as.. maybe my friend Phil. I'm not sure. It's just such a great book. And today part of what I read, Ellen's dad bought her a sketch book to get all of her thoughts down.. and it was talking about some of the drawings she has done.. and it made me realize how much I miss drawing.

So I ran into town and spent what I took out of the bank today on drawing stuff. I bought a really good sketch book, and then a bunch of pencils, erasers, shading sticks.. that sort of thing.

I've started on a sketch of Jim Sturgess.. not sure how well it's going to turn out since I'm kind of rusty... but I'm hoping it'll be great!

I got my prom dress on Saturday. It is silver sequined.. knee length.. strapless.. basically it has as much energy as I do. I love it so much!

I hate being single.. just for the record. lol it didn't bother me at first. like after Trev and I broke up. So it was nice for like 4 months.. just hanging out with no worries about what I do or who I look at.. but we broke up in August.. I've been single since August. It's now March. lol. I feel cool. Oh well. I don't need a guy to make me happy. Frick them.

So I know I've been completely random this time.. but I really don't care.

No one reads this.. this is just for me to rant and not have to rant directly to someone. I get my feelings out there without them actually being read. I like that freedom.

So I guess this is it for me.. considering I just looked at the clock and it was 10:00 and now it's 10:41. Time flies when you're having fun..

ttyl!

I'm thinking about you all the time..

We're only good for the latest trends.

We're only liars..

So I've decided maybe it's not such a good thing that we lost the game last night..
My friend Ty isn't normally a starter. Farmer normally only starts seniors and Ty is a junior.
But one of our seniors was injured at the previous game (Tyler.. haha yeah.. one is Ty one is Tyler) so he wasn't starting and Ty got put in. He was all excited.

Now that they lost though, he is blaming it all on himself. He's saying that if Tyler would've played then they would've won the game no problem. He's really beating himself up about this whole thing and I don't like that. He's one of my besties.

And another thing I've noticed. People react to things differently at different times of the year.. for example it is 41.8 degrees out right now. You drive down the road and you see people in sweatshirts with their windows down just blastin the music like it's summer.. If it were summer that was ending and it was 41.8 degrees you would see people in their winter coats and their windows shut tight.

I'm so glad summer is coming. I can't wait. This summer is going to be amazing. I can tell.

ttyl!

But we're the best!

Is someone getting the best of you?

I've got another confession my friend..

haha that's right.. I'm off of Fallout Boy for a post and onto Foo Fighters!

But anyways I think we all (by we all I mean me because I'm pretty sure no one reads this and that's probably for the best) know why I'm here..
We had our semifinals tonight..
We played Flint Beecher..
We lost in overtime.
My voice is gone..
I was a nervous wreck.
One of the best games ever.
And I'm going to be honest here.. I'm kind of glad we lost.
My work is getting fed up with me always wanting to go to the games (fuck them though. I really don't care what they think. My boss is a jerk.) and we were just getting really cocky. We thought we were the best and unstoppable. Well, it looks as though we got stopped.
We played a good game although it seemed as though Logan spent more time on the ground than actually running or anything.
But you know what.. it was a great basketball year for us. We never made it this far before and we played a great game.

I'm happy with the results.

Oh and in case you were wondering the final score was 71-65.

But I've got 2 more days of testing to look forward to so I'm off to bed.

Note to self - eat breakfast before you go and test!

I'm no fool.

I love to act.. but the ACT.. not so much

Dance, Dance..

So today was the dreaded ACT.

I woke up at 6:30 and called in sick to work (hey what's a high school senior to do when her basketball team is in the quarter finals and we've never made it this far!?).. and then it was time to start the day. I got all around and my sister and I were out the door around 7:10.

My car was all frosty so I scraped it off and went and picked up Katie. Then we just got to talking and such, then I went up to the office once I got to school and bought my tickets for the game tonight. Then it was time to go and take the ACT.

Let me tell you.. not fun... especially when it's your 4th freaking time taking it!
Lol I got my seat and such, and then I whipped through the english no probs. I had like 10 min to spare! Then it was time for math! Yeah.. it's best we don't talk about the rest of the test except for the writing. hahahahahah. that was the best. I mean c'mon it's my 4th time taking this thing.. like I'm going to take it seriously..
We got a 5 min break before the writing and I was all like guys.. I'm going to work Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan into my paper. I'll find a way to do it. And let's just say.. I have some talent! Our topic was that they are talking about expanding the school days so we only have to go to school 4 days a week and have friday off. I said that over half of my school drinks and does drugs. If we give them the full day to do that we are just asking for trouble. We are going to have a bunch of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohans running around and our society as we know it would cease to exsist. :D
I'm good.

Then it was just a normal school day for the rest of the day.

But yaaay our game is tonight! I'm so freakin excited!

I'll be back to post results!

Ttyl!

We're falling apart 'til halftime.. (I thought this song was appropriate for tonight's game.)

Stressed..

They say quitters never win, but we walk the plank on a sinking ship...

that's pretty much how I feel right now to quote a Fallout Boy song. I feel like I am walking the plank on a sinking ship.. I'm going down no matter which way you look at it.

I am normally great in math class. Math is what I know and what I can do, but this chapter.. I don't know. It's killing me. I don't understand, and the more it's being explained to me.. I start to grasp it and then it goes away. I can see my teacher becoming upset because he knows I am smart enough to get it, but he can't figure out a better way to explain it to me. So I feel as though I'm letting him down.

English has just become boring. I can't seem to pay attention when we are just learning the same thing over and over. I just get completely bored and zone out or talk to my best friend Amanda. My teacher gets mad when I talk, and I know I'm a better student than that.. so I feel as though I'm letting him down because he knows I'm a good student but I just can't help but talk. It's either talk or fall asleep.. neither of which my teacher would approve of.

I always have straight A's in my physical science class.. but now we are learning about lenses and mirrors. I'm so completely confused by all of this. My teacher is always turning to me to answer the questions when no one else knows the answer, but now I can't give it to him..

The only class that is going great for me is Art 2.

I don't know.. maybe it's just senioritis kicking in..

I'm just ready to be done with high school.

It's really not a great time to be doubting myself for I am taking the Act tomorrow, and the MME the next 2 days after that.

These should be some interesting test results I get back.

So wish me luck.

I'm going to need it.