Those were the days..

Take your cap and leave my sweater..

*sigh*

I want to go to Virginia Beach.
Really bad.
like you have no idea.
I miss it there..
I miss boogie boarding..

seeing sharks in the ocean.. then at 1 a.m. playing in the ocean.

those were the days.

and I miss them. :(

Cuz we've got nothing left to weather..

We're only good for the latest trends..

I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive..

So I decided that I don't know what I would do without the residents at my job (haha I wouldn't have my job if we didn't have residents but that's not the point).

They are seriously funny.. especially the ones with dymensia.

lol I remember one time when one of them didn't want what we were having for dinner.. they wanted a pancake. And the night manager (who is the head of maintenance as well) was going to give it to her.

The nurse that was with her was like "Yeah. What's better than getting a pancake from a good looking guy?" and the resident sighed and was like "Not much."

LOL!

So great.

Oh and as you may have saw I'm back to Fall Out Boy.

lol I missed them.

Well I'm completely bored.. and pretty much out of things to talk about..

So I think I'm going to go!

Ttyl!

Now I only waste it dreaming of you.

Of All the Gin Joints in All the World - Fall Out Boy

Enchanted.

Closed off from love...

I hate this.

Senior year.

spring break.

I'm in BFE.. planning on going no where.

damn. I'm awesome.

haha. oh well I guess.

and i'm scheduled to work most of it.

I really hate my boss.

Why can't he be gay? gay guys seem to love me.

*sigh*

lol

I didn't need the pain...

Bleeding love - Leona Lewis

We are who we were when..

All I know is..

I'm very proud to report..

Slowly but surely everything is falling back into place.

I'm not sure what happend.. but something terrible and it made everything just fall out of place.

Okay I have a good idea of what it is..

I think it was Blaine's death. It really messed with my head and had me really depressed for quite a while.

I mean I was suffering.

Math is what I was amazing at.. always. No matter what I was amazing at math.. My test after Blaine's death was terrible. I got an F.. That made me even more depressed..

The guy I liked got a girl friend..

My best friend and I were kind of fighting..

Everything was just not right.. and it was really messing with me..

But the guy and I worked everything out.. I'm glad I finally opened up to him.

So that was going good.. then my best friend and I worked everything out..

and then I had one of my other best friends teach me the math all over and teach me the correct ways to find everything.. and I retook the test and got an A.

Everything is back in place..

and I couldn't be more happy.

Ttyl.

Everything's gonna be alright..

No One ~ Alicia Keys

Out here the hills go on for miles..

I'm just a face for every picture..

It's official! I've found my theme song..

which is located on my theme cd if you will. lol

My theme song is This Is How We Do by All Time Low..

The CD is So Wrong It's Right.

It's an AMAZING CD! If you haven't listend to it yet..

then what the heck are you doing reading my blog?! Get off your butt and go to the nearest wal-mart and pick yourself up a copy!

You won't regret it.

If you are into the whole Anberlin, Boys Like Girls thing then you will totally love them.

And hey what do you know.. I love both of them! :)

Today is a good day.. lol this CD like makes my day better. :)

I listend to it before bed last night, I put it in when I got around this morning.. sang it at school all day long.. got home and played it again. :)

I'm not addicted to All Time Low. I swear.

Last night I was thinking... Everyone is obsessed with something.

I know people who are obsessed with running.. or people obsessed with dieting (who would want to be obsessed with that??).. etc.. And I decided that I am obsessed with music. I just can't get enough of it!

If I'm not listening to it then I'm singing it.. or it's playing in my head or something. I am constantly hearing music... and I love it. :)

A smile for your scrapbook..

This is How We Do ~ All Time Low

Pretty. Odd.

Go on, grab your hat and fetch a camera..

I got it!

:D
I booked it to Greenville after school.
I got to wal-mart and went right to the CD section.. new releases and BAM! I was good to go!
Then they put those stupid pop machines by the check out thingy for impulse buyers like me..
damn them.
So as I am walking to my car with my CD and mt. dew a red truck pulls up next to my car..
and honks..
It was Alexa..
and she was playing disco music..
and was dancing..
It was as if we were at the disco..
she almost made me panic at the disco..
that's just pretty. odd..


haha. Okay.. got that out of my system. But really.
I did see Alexa and Jessie as I was coming out.. they were there to get easter candy half off. lol. Gotta love my friends.
I got the Cd..

It's not what I expected but I'm still happy to report I love every single song on that CD.

:D
Nine in the Afternoon is still my favorite. It's all catchy and such.
:)

Go on, film the world before it happens..

She's a handsome woman - Panic at the Disco

We sleep forever..

Take a picture..

I'm glad to report that I'm in a better mood than I have been..

I got to go shopping :)

That always makes me feel better..

I got a sweater for my dress... finally.. I finally found one! woo!

Then I went and I bought 2 Aiden CDs..

then I bought 2 tank tops. :)

Then I came home..

Senior skip day was nice.

I wish it was senior skip year...

that'd be even better..

Let it breathe alright..

The sky is falling - Aiden

I wouldn't be caught dead in this place.

Praying for love in a lap dance..

Okay.. I've decided on two different things today.

1) Before this year is over I'm seeing Panic in concert.

2) I'm going to marry their lead singer Brendon Urie.

They had the making of their new album Pretty. Odd. (out in 2 days!!!!!! I'm dying!) on Fuse.. and now it's them performing songs off of A Fever You Can't Sweat Out in Denver.. and next is the making of Nine in the Afternoon.

I'm getting my daily dose of Panic.

Are you?

and paying in nievety..

Pointless..

Heartache to heartache..

Frick everything.

I don't even know why I try.
I really don't.
It only ends up completely opposite from how I want it.
Believe me..

not even wallgreens is perfect enough..

we stand..

love is a battlefield - Pat Benetar

Hm..

And no one's gonna save you..

I'm confused.. and mad.. and hurt.. and I'm not sure why.

Not something I really feel like talking about.

I don't want it to concern anyone who reads this..

So grandpa got bad news..

there's a shocker.

I'm scared for him.

I don't know what I'll do if he does take a turn for the worse..

:(

I don't even want to think about it..

oh.. and yes.. these lyrics are Michael Jackson.. Thriller.

from the beast about to strike..

random urge..

Whispers "hello..

So yeah.. it's 1 a.m. but I had a thought just now..

haha cuz that's so different from normal right?

Well I've decided all girls want one thing in life.. if they don't get it they are pretty sad.. but the world moves on..

if they do get it they will forever be the happiest person in the world.

That this is the perfect story book.. right out of hollywood movies romance.

I watch as many romantic movies as the next single teenage girl.. but there is nothing I want more than for Ella Enchanted to be my life story..

minus the doing everything you are told part and almost killing the man of my dreams..

lol but all the rest..

They know they are in love the first day they meet..

must be nice.

Why can't real life just be like it seems on those movies?

Why do the movies have to tease us and be like hahaha look what we can do and you can't? That's a really bitchy thing to do. lol.

It saddens me to know that I'll probably never have that happen to me..

but hey.. it's worth writing it down right?

It got me up off my bed..

and yes.. I was watching Ella Enchanted.. and now The Perfect Man..

hahah gosh do I need a boyfriend. :P

Oh well..

C'est la vie.

ttyl.

I've missed you quite terribly."

Life changing events..

I wanna run..

I got ice cream with Paul yesterday. That was fun. Lol I don't think time has flew by that fast before. We met up around 3:15 and then next thing you know it was almost 5. It was nice just getting to know each other better.

Then I had to come home and change into black..

I went to the visitation last night. It was one of the worst moments in my life to see Blaine just kinda laying there.. I kept waiting for him to set up and be like ahh I'm just kidding guys. Let's crack open some beers and have a party. But he didn't. He never sat up. And then to see all of my friends crying.. it was bad. Jake almost cried.. That was really bad.

I came home and I just wanted to do something after that. Hang with my friends. I mean you never know how long you are going to have them. I just wanted to do something. I was really depressed though.. I laid on the couch and watched a Make Me A Supermodel marathon.. which was kind of boring since I watch them when they first come on. lol but oh well.

So then I decided I'd go down to Katie's and see what she was up to.

I didn't think she was home so I came back to my house.. then she called me and we met up with Jake and Ty at the movies. We saw Never Back Down.
It was great for getting my mind off of things. That movie was AMAZING! It was seriously good. lol I don't even know what else to say.. It almost made Katie cry.. but I'm proud to report I never even had a tear in my eye. :)

But I think that's it for this post.. I have to get around for work soon..

ttyl.

But only far enough to make you miss me..

Thought of the day..

Fast lives are stuck in the undertow...

Okay.. So I didn't go to school today as basically half of the people that read this (which is 2.. so half is 1. haha yep.. i'm good at math. :p) already know.. I found it pointless. It was a half day and the first half of my classes are easy and virtually no one was going to go to school today..

So I am proud to report I slept through the entire school day today! :D haha I went to bed around 11:40.. and woke up around the same time. Lol nothing beats 12 hours of sleep except maybe 13 or 14. haha.

Okay but back to the thought of the day..

I went into town to get money and then stop and see my best friend to see if she wanted to get lunch or something.. She wasn't at work so i just left her a note and left. I was hungry since I hadn't eaten yet.. so I went to McDonalds.. saw some of my old friends and left..

As I left I got stuck behind this white truck..

Speed limit was 45 and they were going about 30. Then they started speeding up to about 40.. then speed limit changed to 55 and they went 45.. then they looked in their side view mirror at me and it was an old man..

Yeah I passed them but my thought was this: Why do old people drive slow? Are their muscles wearing thin that they don't have the capability to press that petal down? If that's the case their licenses should be revoked..

It makes us younger people mad.. and no one likes an already angsty teenager to be mad now do they?

haha just my thoughts for the day.

But you know the places I wanna go..

the waking up is the hardest part..

You better know that in the end..

So I knew today was going to be bad..

But oh my gosh it was so much worse than I expected.

Idk..

It's just a really sad day..

It's better to say too much, then never to say what you need to say again.

Life changes in the blink of an eye..

I think of what you did..

I'm not sure how many of you know this but I live in a town where nothing out of the ordinary ever happens..

We get up, go to school, go home, do homework, go to sleep, and repeat. Every weekday. On the weekends some kids party, work w/e.. then back to school. This is how it has been since I've been born.

I mean I know deaths happen. One of my best friends has lost both of her parents in the time span of 4 years..

But never has a student from our school killed themselves..

It happend to my friends from Central last year I think it was.. and I felt terrible for them and I didn't know how I could stand to deal with that..

Well tonight.. dad came home from work and told me that a guy my age from my school had shot themself. He told me he was from Hubbardston but didn't know his name..

Minutes after that Ash is calling me and telling me that Blaine Butler killed himself.

It was different when this person was nameless.. but Blaine?

I know Blaine. I see him in the hall all the time..

he was happy.. outgoing.. completely outspoken..

He even had a party last night..

What happend to make him shoot himself?

I just don't know what to think.

I'm just shaken up about this.

Maybe I'll call into work.. I just can't deal with this.

It's too weird.

Jake and his mom prayed for his family..

I just don't know what to think..

And How I hope to God he was worth it.

All the things you said runnin' through my head..

Another day is going by..

My sister has this big book report due tomorrow so she told me to play some of my music.. so I pulled out some of my old mixes. I miss some of those songs!

It's crazy how I could forget some of the classics.

So I've been reading this book recently and the characters are so relatable. I see myself as Ellen.. and my friend James as the James character. I'm not sure who I see the Link character as.. maybe my friend Phil. I'm not sure. It's just such a great book. And today part of what I read, Ellen's dad bought her a sketch book to get all of her thoughts down.. and it was talking about some of the drawings she has done.. and it made me realize how much I miss drawing.

So I ran into town and spent what I took out of the bank today on drawing stuff. I bought a really good sketch book, and then a bunch of pencils, erasers, shading sticks.. that sort of thing.

I've started on a sketch of Jim Sturgess.. not sure how well it's going to turn out since I'm kind of rusty... but I'm hoping it'll be great!

I got my prom dress on Saturday. It is silver sequined.. knee length.. strapless.. basically it has as much energy as I do. I love it so much!

I hate being single.. just for the record. lol it didn't bother me at first. like after Trev and I broke up. So it was nice for like 4 months.. just hanging out with no worries about what I do or who I look at.. but we broke up in August.. I've been single since August. It's now March. lol. I feel cool. Oh well. I don't need a guy to make me happy. Frick them.

So I know I've been completely random this time.. but I really don't care.

No one reads this.. this is just for me to rant and not have to rant directly to someone. I get my feelings out there without them actually being read. I like that freedom.

So I guess this is it for me.. considering I just looked at the clock and it was 10:00 and now it's 10:41. Time flies when you're having fun..

ttyl!

I'm thinking about you all the time..

We're only good for the latest trends.

We're only liars..

So I've decided maybe it's not such a good thing that we lost the game last night..
My friend Ty isn't normally a starter. Farmer normally only starts seniors and Ty is a junior.
But one of our seniors was injured at the previous game (Tyler.. haha yeah.. one is Ty one is Tyler) so he wasn't starting and Ty got put in. He was all excited.

Now that they lost though, he is blaming it all on himself. He's saying that if Tyler would've played then they would've won the game no problem. He's really beating himself up about this whole thing and I don't like that. He's one of my besties.

And another thing I've noticed. People react to things differently at different times of the year.. for example it is 41.8 degrees out right now. You drive down the road and you see people in sweatshirts with their windows down just blastin the music like it's summer.. If it were summer that was ending and it was 41.8 degrees you would see people in their winter coats and their windows shut tight.

I'm so glad summer is coming. I can't wait. This summer is going to be amazing. I can tell.

ttyl!

But we're the best!

Is someone getting the best of you?

I've got another confession my friend..

haha that's right.. I'm off of Fallout Boy for a post and onto Foo Fighters!

But anyways I think we all (by we all I mean me because I'm pretty sure no one reads this and that's probably for the best) know why I'm here..
We had our semifinals tonight..
We played Flint Beecher..
We lost in overtime.
My voice is gone..
I was a nervous wreck.
One of the best games ever.
And I'm going to be honest here.. I'm kind of glad we lost.
My work is getting fed up with me always wanting to go to the games (fuck them though. I really don't care what they think. My boss is a jerk.) and we were just getting really cocky. We thought we were the best and unstoppable. Well, it looks as though we got stopped.
We played a good game although it seemed as though Logan spent more time on the ground than actually running or anything.
But you know what.. it was a great basketball year for us. We never made it this far before and we played a great game.

I'm happy with the results.

Oh and in case you were wondering the final score was 71-65.

But I've got 2 more days of testing to look forward to so I'm off to bed.

Note to self - eat breakfast before you go and test!

I'm no fool.

I love to act.. but the ACT.. not so much

Dance, Dance..

So today was the dreaded ACT.

I woke up at 6:30 and called in sick to work (hey what's a high school senior to do when her basketball team is in the quarter finals and we've never made it this far!?).. and then it was time to start the day. I got all around and my sister and I were out the door around 7:10.

My car was all frosty so I scraped it off and went and picked up Katie. Then we just got to talking and such, then I went up to the office once I got to school and bought my tickets for the game tonight. Then it was time to go and take the ACT.

Let me tell you.. not fun... especially when it's your 4th freaking time taking it!
Lol I got my seat and such, and then I whipped through the english no probs. I had like 10 min to spare! Then it was time for math! Yeah.. it's best we don't talk about the rest of the test except for the writing. hahahahahah. that was the best. I mean c'mon it's my 4th time taking this thing.. like I'm going to take it seriously..
We got a 5 min break before the writing and I was all like guys.. I'm going to work Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan into my paper. I'll find a way to do it. And let's just say.. I have some talent! Our topic was that they are talking about expanding the school days so we only have to go to school 4 days a week and have friday off. I said that over half of my school drinks and does drugs. If we give them the full day to do that we are just asking for trouble. We are going to have a bunch of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohans running around and our society as we know it would cease to exsist. :D
I'm good.

Then it was just a normal school day for the rest of the day.

But yaaay our game is tonight! I'm so freakin excited!

I'll be back to post results!

Ttyl!

We're falling apart 'til halftime.. (I thought this song was appropriate for tonight's game.)

Stressed..

They say quitters never win, but we walk the plank on a sinking ship...

that's pretty much how I feel right now to quote a Fallout Boy song. I feel like I am walking the plank on a sinking ship.. I'm going down no matter which way you look at it.

I am normally great in math class. Math is what I know and what I can do, but this chapter.. I don't know. It's killing me. I don't understand, and the more it's being explained to me.. I start to grasp it and then it goes away. I can see my teacher becoming upset because he knows I am smart enough to get it, but he can't figure out a better way to explain it to me. So I feel as though I'm letting him down.

English has just become boring. I can't seem to pay attention when we are just learning the same thing over and over. I just get completely bored and zone out or talk to my best friend Amanda. My teacher gets mad when I talk, and I know I'm a better student than that.. so I feel as though I'm letting him down because he knows I'm a good student but I just can't help but talk. It's either talk or fall asleep.. neither of which my teacher would approve of.

I always have straight A's in my physical science class.. but now we are learning about lenses and mirrors. I'm so completely confused by all of this. My teacher is always turning to me to answer the questions when no one else knows the answer, but now I can't give it to him..

The only class that is going great for me is Art 2.

I don't know.. maybe it's just senioritis kicking in..

I'm just ready to be done with high school.

It's really not a great time to be doubting myself for I am taking the Act tomorrow, and the MME the next 2 days after that.

These should be some interesting test results I get back.

So wish me luck.

I'm going to need it.